Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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