Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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