In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
