Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I have demons in me.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
