An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
