Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
