i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
