I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
