In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
