I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i just had sex bonerless
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
