woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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