ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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