I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
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