Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
