Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
