I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
