Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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