Sry I called you an 8
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
