I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
