Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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