I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I need moral support for this bender
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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