I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
