You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
