____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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