Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
