you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
