ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
