shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
