Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
