Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He passed out mid-signature
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
