Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
