Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
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