I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
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