pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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