Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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