and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
