This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
