maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
