When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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