Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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