I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
