when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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