Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
