Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
wow bdsm is so cute
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
