Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just pee around me
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
