Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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