what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
