There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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