apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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