I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
