There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
